a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
