I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
