and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
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Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
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Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
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