she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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