At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Congratulations! We have a period
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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