So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
