I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
