That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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