so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
