am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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