A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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