I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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