according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
