Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
