The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize