that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
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I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
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We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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