I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
