It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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