Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
