it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
