girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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