i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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