Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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