i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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