i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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