I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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