return my video game
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
