Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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