1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
