I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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