The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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