I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
don't judge my taste in strippers
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize