If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize