Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
