I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
