ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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