I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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