I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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