He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
