Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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