When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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