im about as happy as oj after his trial
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
