So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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