Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
