Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
