so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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