I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
