It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
