My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
