i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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