Can Purell be used as lube?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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