dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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