Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
