He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
