Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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