if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
