did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
