Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
