**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
