3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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